Scars
by brokenteapots
Summary: Hermione longs for a love she can never have. Or can she?
1. Chapter 1

**{song - Scars by Miley Cyrus. Sadly it does not belong to me & neither do these characters}**

_I can pretend that I dont see you,  
>I can pretend I dont wanna hold you when you're around,<em>_**  
><strong>__  
><em>Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurts? I have, infact, I do, because you see, too me he's _perfect._I could give him everything and more, but he doesn't even notice my feelings.

_I can say nothing was right,  
>But we know if I looked in your eyes I'd break down,<em>

We're friends, just friends. I laugh at his jokes, he laughs at mine. That's the difference between me and _her._I get him, I understand his sense of humour and he understands mine. She doesn't. She's clueless. Totally and utterly.

_If I could have just one night, to be with you and make it right,  
>What we were and what we are, is hidden in the scars,<em>

She's bad for him. All she cares about is herself, not him. I can tell she doesn't like him, she's only with him to get to me, and hell, it's worked. I could give him something that she can never, _love._

_If I could, take you there, I won't let go, this I swear,  
>You won't have to wonder what we are,<br>Cause you won't have to ever look to far,  
>It's in the scars, it's hidden in the scars<em>

My scars now are to deep to heal. All I want is him, nothing else. He's everything to me and means everything. I will love him forever, until my heart stops beating and beyond.

_If I told you that I loved you,  
>But I'm doing alright without you it'd be a lie, but I could try,<em>

**"Always remember one thing ducky, you were first. **_**Your**_** my best friend".**

Ducky. I love that, he has a special little nickname for me. We've had amazing times, but she took all that away.

_I'd run 1000 miles, believe me,  
>Your the only one, I want you breathing to break down,<br>Yeah, lets break down,_

I would, I would run 1000 miles for him.

_If I could have just one night, to be with you and make it right,  
>What we were and what we are, is hidden in the scars,<br>If I could, take you there, I won't let go, this I swear,  
>You won't have to wonder what we are,<br>Cause you won't have to ever look to far,  
>It's in the scars, it's hidden in the scars,<em>

He wouldn't have to change for me, I love him for _him._I want my best friend back. She's taken him away and changed him, I hardly see or speak to him anymore. Why? What was the need?

_Yeah I'll tell you all my secrets,  
>All the ones I've kept inside,<em>

All the secrets I wish I could tell him, they're locked up inside me, inside a cage, longing to burst open and spill out.

_And Ill give you all the reasons,  
>That you faded from my life,<br>I will learn to go, baby come here for, I will let you, up away,_

I suppose though, he's happy, in a wrong way. I mean, what normal person would be happy with her? What normal person would be happy enough to totally change for her? But I guess that's my point really, he's not normal, not in the slightest. I know I really should just learn to let him go.. but I don't want too.

_If I could, for just one night, to be with you, to make it right,  
>And what we were, and what we are,<br>Is hidden on the, in the scars,  
>If I could, take you there,<br>I wont let go, baby this I swear,  
>You wont have to wonder what we are,<br>Cause you wont have to look to far,  
>Its in the scars, Its hidden in the scars, Hidden in the scars,<br>Yeah-yeah-eh-eh-ehhhhh-yeah-eh_

"Hey Draco!" I called to him brightly. "Want to come down to the lake with me? We could study and crack a few jokes like old times" I nudged him playfully. He glanced over his shoulder to where Pansy stood waiting for him before turning back around to me, grey meeting brown.

"Listen, Mione, we can't be friends anymore, I'm sorry".

He turned around and walked away off towards Pansy, pecking her on the lips and wrapping an arm around her as they headed out of the castle. I looked down and let a tiny tear escape and skate down my cheek.

_I can pretend that I don't see you, I can pretend that I don't wanna hold you when your around._

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><p><em>first chapter! hope you enjoyed it and I hope you enjoy the many chapters to come!<br>reviews would be so appreciated, thankyou :)  
><em>**~brokenteapots **


	2. Chapter 2

He disappeared around the corner with _her_. The warm May air swallowed him whole, away from me and out of my life. A few more tears had escaped and joined the once lonely tear and I could have sworn that I felt my heart break slightly. It hurt. I hurt.

I sniffed and wiped my nose on my sleeve looking around the empty entrance hall. I gazed at the spot where he stood before me moments before, where he told me he didn't want to know me. What a kick in the stomach.

I decided at that point that I didn't want to see anybody. I wanted to be on my own, away from people and their prying questions. I started hastily up to the common room, passing portrait after portrait before coming up to The Fat Lady.

"P-pear drops," I stifled through my fast approaching tears. The Fat Lady have me a questioning look (she really is rather nosey) before opening up to allow me access.

I dashed and darted between swarms of first years and crowds of my own year and others, keeping my head low and my tears back. Ginny caught me out of the corner of her eye and attempted to get my attention. Me luckily being too quick for her managed to slither out and up towards my dormitory. I pushed the heavy oak door forward, locking it behind me and collapsing onto my canopy bed in a heap of salty tears and massacred feelings.

After a little while there was a soft knock on the door and Ginny's slender figure appeared. Her glossy hair framing her perfect pale face revealed a worried expression. I looked up wearily, my unsightly puffy eyes meeting hers.

"My god Mione! What happened?" she cried shockingly, shutting the door behind her promptly so that no other nosey, gossip loving trollops came dondering in.

"Guy problems," I mumbled lazily. I just couldn't care about the world right now or anyone else. I wanted them all to bugger off and leave me alone.

"What kind of guy problems? Serious stuff? Or just some stupid fluffy nonsense," she continued in a hushed tone. She was kneeling down beside my bed with her face straight onto mine. I looked her in the eye,

"What the hell do you think?" I snapped venemously. She looked shocked at me as I had never talked to her like that before. I myself was shocked.

"I'm sorry Ginny,"

"It's okay," she replied.

"Do you want to talk about it Mione?" she asked concerned.

"Not really at the moment, I just kind of want to sleep. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is, I'll be downstairs if you need anything,"

"Okay. Thankyou Ginny," I said softly, forcing a small smile onto my tear stained face.

She got up and headed towards the door, slipped out silently then clicked it shut. I started to fall deeper and deeper into a peaceful world until I was no longer in reality.

_*knock, knock*_

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><p><em><strong>this is a very short chapter I'm sorry! I haven't updated for a while and I apologise for that aswell - I have had a lot going on recently and I haven't been feeling very well either, but I will try to update whenever I get a chance too!<br>thankyou for reading and possibly reviewing? (hint, hint ;)) . I really do appreciate reviews as it helps me to advance and improve in my writing - so thankyou!  
>enjoy! =)<strong>_

_**~ brokenteapots X **_


	3. Chapter 3

I cracked my eyelids open slightly at the sound of the soft knock. I sighed heavily then lifted my body up and off of my bed. The frame creaked slightly under my weight and my covers shifted around me. I headed towards the dark door and opened it to reveal, yet again, Ginny.

"I thought I said I wanted to be left alone?" I said.

"I know Mione, but you've been asleep for over 4 hours and its time for dinner," she said softly.

"I've been asleep for 4 hours?" I questioned. I was quite shocked as I felt like I had only slept for a few seconds.

"Yeah,"

"Wow," I muttered. "I don't feel like eating though, I'm just going to stay up here and sleep some more," I continued.

"Listen Mione -,"

"Don't call me that," I said sharply, stopping her.

"Why? I've called you that for years!" she protested, raising her voice slightly.

"Just don't okay!"

"What is going on with you? Earlier on you said you had some boy troubles, so come on. Cough up. Who's hurt you?" she started, forcing herself into my dormitory and shutting the heavy door behind her. I hastily took a number of steps backwards to try and avoid her.

"N-nothing, just please go," I stumbled through new tears. I tried to get around her and leave but she grabbed my arm and pushed me onto my bed before I had a chance.

"I'm not going anywhere and neither are you until you tell me who's hurt you!" she said strongly, forcing me to look her right in the eye. At that moment I couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell her, I had to tell someone.

"Have you ever loved someone so much that you would do anything to be with them? You love them so much that your heart flutters and your stomach dances everytime you see them and everytime you're near them? Have you ever wanted someone so much that you cry yourself to sleep everynight? You die inside everytime you see them with someone else, someone you wish you could be but can't. 'Cause you see Ginny, that's me. I love someone so much that he is all I every think about. He's my bestfriend but I want more. So much more. I am hurting and I am in so much pain and I just want it to stop. I just want him to love me back." There, i'd said it.

"Who Hermione? Who is it? You can tell me," she said softly, like a mother comforting a child. She was now sitting beside me, trying to comfort me.

"I-I can't. You'll laugh, tell me I'm stupid. Suppose I am really. Guess super brains result in bad decisions and a lousy love life," I managed to say through the ever increasing waterworks.

"I promise I won't. I'm your bestfriend, and you're not stupid Hermione. You know that," she continued.

"Don't tell anyone,"

"You have my word,"

"Draco. Draco Malfoy,"

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><p><strong>I know another short chapter, hope you don't mind. I'm trying to keep it updated as much as I can and this was all I could write at the moment. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it =)<br>Again, reviews would be lovely! They really do help me and I really appreciate them.  
>Thankyou to <em>Elizabeth Bells <em>and _Nicconicco _for reviewing =)**

**~ brokenteapots **


	4. Chapter 4

"Malfoy? As in Slytherin Malfoy?" Ginny asked.

I nodded.

"Oh Hermione," she said coming towards me, hugging and comforting me. I didn't say anything. "Its okay, i'm not going to hate you or anything. Even though he is a slytherin," she continued.

"What do you think Harry and Ron will say?" I whimpered.

"Well they're just going to have to live with it,"

"Do you think I should tell them?"

"Probably. Better coming from you than one of the gossips,"

"Okay, I will at some point, but not just yet. I want to get my head together," I said, trying to compose myself.

" Okay, well I'm away downstairs, see you later," she says, hugging me once again before leaving the room. Once the door clicked shut I broke down again, allowing my tears to soak my pillows as I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

My eyes cracked open and squinted as I stared at the rays of light coming through the window. I had been asleep for longer than I thought. Grudgingly I got up from my bed and looked to my right. Ginny was asleep as was the rest of the girls in my dorm. Lightly, I swung my legs around and crept out of the room. There were a few students hanging around the common room, all of whom gave me a questioning look as I passed. I climbed out of the portrait hole and breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't know where I was going or what I was doing. I just fancied a walk.

5 minutes passed and still I was aimlessly wandering the never ending corridors of Hogwarts. It was only when a soft hand grabbed my wrist I was brought back to reality and my stomach dropped.

_Not again._

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><p>hello! i'm so so so sorry for not updating in literally months - i've had a lot of crap going on and exams and yeah. A LOT to do.<br>BUT its summer now so i'll be back on here updating and writing :)  
>sorry that this chapter is so short , this was all i could manage at the moment, but its a good taster of what is to come! :D<p>

reviews would be much appreciated :3

~brokenteapots


	5. Chapter 5

My mahogany eyes met his and I took a sharp intake of breath. I'm sure I felt my heart skip a beat or two.

"What the-," I started.

"Shh," he cut me off.

"Draco, what the hell are you doing?" I whispered sharply.

"I had to see you,"

"Why?"

"Because I miss you,"

"Whoah. No. Stop right there. Not even 24 hours ago you said we can't be friends anymore and you didn't want to speak to me ever again, why the sudden change of heart," I said. I was so confused and angry at him.

"That wasn't me," I gave him a sarcastic look. "I mean, it was me, obviously, physically it was me, but mentally, inside,"

"Shutup," I said.

"Excuse me," he said, a confused and hurt look growing on his face.

"You're babbling," I replied simply.

"I know," he said, looking down.

"You look tired," I told him. I studied his face silently, the truth was, he looked _exhausted._ His eyes were weighed down with heavy bags and if I wasn't mistaken there was old tear tracks running down from his eyes, down his cheeks and ending at his sharp jaw line. He had been _crying? _Draco Malfoy never cried, never ever.

"I am," he broke the silence.

"Tell me what's wrong," I brought my hand up and stroked his hair out of his grey eyes lightly. He looked at me and a shiver ran down my spine.

"I wish I could," he muttered, barely audible. Tears were starting to build up again.

"Dra-,"

"DRAKIEEEE!" came the shrill cry of _her. _Pansy Parkinson. Draco sighed heavily and turned to go.

"Draco, please," I started.

"Meet me in the room of requirement tomorrow at 10pm. Make sure you are alone and that noone follows you," he said.

"Of course, but why?" I questioned, still in our hushed voices.

"I'm going to tell you everything, I promise," he cracked a small, reassuring smile. Pansy's footsteps were getting louder and closer with each second. I started to turn to head back to the Gryffindor common room when I felt Draco's hand on mine. He turned me round and kissed me on the cheek before hurrying off and meeting Pansy. My face flushed with heat and I nearly fell over. A huge grin grew on my face and stayed until I reached the common room.

"Mione! Thank goodness! Where have you been?," came the voice of Ginny, although she was my best friend she really could be annoying sometimes.

"Oh, nowhere. Just went to get some air," I lied as I walked away, not giving her any eye contact. I wasn't going to tell her about what had happened. This was my special moment.

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><p>I know!<br>Another really small chapter - I'm sorry, but I'm finding it easier to write small chapters, so yeah. :)  
>Hope you enjoy this one! Quite enjoyed writing it.<br>As always, reviews are **much **appreciated.  
>{hint,hint}<p>

~brokenteapots


	6. Chapter 6

I didn't get much sleep that night. I just kept replaying the scene in the corridor with him over and over again, each time grinning like a giddy fan girl every time I thought about the kiss on my cheek. I could still feel it there and it gave me a sense of hope. I kept giggling and falling deeper into my covers until sleep finally caught up with and devoured me at around 3am.

I grudgingly open my eyes for them to be greeted by the friendly sun of a Saturday morning. I cast a sleepy glance towards my clock - 11:05 am. In less than 11 hours I would sneak out to meet Draco in the Room of Requirement. I lifted myself up in bed to find that everyone else was up and dressed.

Now that I was alone again I could really think. What did Draco mean when he would tell me everything? What exactly is he going to tell me? I was of course quite excited because I'd finally be getting answers but at the same time I couldn't help feeling an air of fear. Casting these thoughts aside I got up and headed to the bathroom for a wash and change.

After showering a changed into a comfortable outfit consisting of a loose fitting plum coloured top, jeans and black converse. I dried my hair with a simple charm and applied a light and natural covering of makeup. Content with how I looked I left the dormitory for the Great Hall for a spot of breakfast. My stomach grumbled in agreement.

Entering the impressive hall I was greeted by the usual chatter and smells that a Saturday brought. I spotted Ginny, Harry and Ron and headed towards them, taking a seat and loading a hearty amount of food onto my plate.

"Bloody hell Hermione, you hungry or something?" Ron joked just as I tossed the third sausage onto the gold plate.

"Just a tad," I smirked. "Anything interesting in the paper this morning?" I asked Harry.

"Nah, just the usual nonsense," he smiled at me. At that I turned to Ginny and talked about usual 'girly' things. Everything felt normal, it felt right. It made me feel good but also unnerved me slightly. The calm before the storm, isn't that how the saying goes?

The day passed quickly and before I knew it I was back in the common room, sitting comfortably in front of the roaring fire with a book in my lap. Ron was away in the corner chatting and laughing with Seamus and Harry and Ginny were off together, 'somewhere'. Hm.

The clock above the fire struck 10 and that was my cue. I placed my book down and slipped out common room silently, surprised no one noticed me, especially Ron. Mind you, a lot does get past him. Bless.

For 5 silent minutes I stalked the corridors of the great castle until I reached the bare wall that would allow me entrance. I closed my eyes and thought hard. The sound of the grand oak door pushing through the stone made me bounce back an inch. I looked around me once it was fully there and breathed out. No one had heard. Right, this was it. The moment of many truths.

I pushed against the ancient wood with all my might to reveal and empty, derelict room. Nothing but broken glass and moonlight graced the bare walls and floor, the only furniture being a worn out sofa in the middle of the room. It was cold and I had to stifle back a shiver. I looked ahead and could make out Draco's slender silhouette in the centre of the room. I spoke first.

"Hi," I barely squeaked. I sounded ridiculous. I'm Hermione Granger; strong, intelligent and brave Gryffindor. Yet, why did I now feel no more than a terrified little girl in the presence of this Slytherin prince.

"You came," he spoke in a monotone voice.

"Of course I came," I spoke, this time a bit more audible. He turned to face me and it took all I had to hold back a gasp. In the moonlight he looked _perfect. _The rays highlighted all of his best features up against his fine black suit. Oh jeez.

He smirked and sat himself down on the sofa, waving a gentle hand for me to take a seat beside him. I did and turned to face him, bringing my knees up to my chest and getting comfortable.

"I promised you I would tell you everything and I'm going to. Right here, right now. But you may not like it, in fact, I know you won't," he took a deep breath and I could have sworn I saw tears pricking at his eyes. I wanted more than anything to reach out and hug him, comfort him, but I didn't. I stayed put and watched him.

"At the start of this year, the Dark Lord himself came to me with a task. A task I couldn't turn down. That task is to kill," he stopped and turned his head away slightly. I moved forward lightly, causing him to look back at me.

"Kill who?" I whispered softly.

"Dumbledore," he stated. Tears that were once threatening now spilled over and my heart ached. I couldn't hold myself any longer and moved to hold him, cradling his head in my arms, his tears soaking through my sleeves. My best friend was breaking down right in front of my eyes and I felt so helpless. I rubbed my hand over his hair soothingly.

"Draco, you don't need to do it, you don't have to," I obviously said something wrong because he jerked his head suddenly and looked up at me.

"Yes I do! I have to do it, I have to kill him. Or he's going to kill me," he sobbed, pressing his eyes into his palms. I moved down onto my knees in front of him and pulled his hands from his face, holding them in my own, forcing him to look at me.

"Do you hate me?" he choked.

"No," I said soothingly, cracking a small, warm smile. This seemed to do the trick, because he returned it and his tears subsided.

"To be honest Mione, that was the one thing I was most worried about. If you hated me or not, especially after the way I treated you," he looked down and sniffed.

"I could never hate you Draco, we've been through too much, you and me," I whispered and giggled. I stood up and brought him into a warm hug. A friendly hug. He pulled me closer and rested his head on my shoulder and whispered in me ear.

"Thank you,"

I was about to speak when suddenly he yelped and jumped back, clutching onto his left forearm. I stood and gawked, once again feeling totally useless.

"No," he spoke in a hushed, urgent tone.

"No?" I responded, totally dumbstruck.

"Listen Mione, don't move. Trust me and listen to me carefully, follow exactly everything I say, okay?" he said, in a frantic tone.

"Okay,"

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><p><em>Hope you enjoyed!<br>I managed to make this chapter a bit longer than my previous ones - hope you appreciate it haha! :)  
>I'm not quite so sure about this chapter though, to me it doesn't flow very well but I needed to update so I'm just putting it up.<br>I love hearing what you think! I really appreciate reviews and they really do help me, so please **read & review?  
><strong>So, yeah, that's all just now.  
><em>_Happy reading!_

**~brokenteapots **


	7. Chapter 7

Draco yelped again and I could see tiny tears starting to form in his eyes from the pain as he ripped back his sleeve to reveal a squirming dark mark, poison in his skin. My stomach lurched and I took a step back. He noticed this.

"Mione, don't be afraid of me. Please," he begged.

"I'm not. I'm afraid of that _thing_ on your arm."

"I thought you would be," he half chuckled, casting his gaze down towards it. "Its time. They're coming," he said.

"Who?" I walked closer again.

"My aunt, Bellatrix and other death eaters," he whispered weakly as he fell back onto the sofa, still clutching his arm. I sat down beside him again and turned to face him.

"They can't get in though, this is Hogwarts!" I protested.

"They can get in Mione because I've helped them to all year!" he shouted back at me. I got a fright and jumped back. His expression suddenly softened and he took hold of my hands. "I'm so sorry Mione, I didn't mean to shout. Its just, this whole year has been building up to this moment and I'm so scared," he started sobbing again. I shuffled forward, took my right hand out of his and held it on his cheek. His beautiful grey eyes met mine and a comforting shiver swam down my back.

"Draco, you don't have to be scared. You don't have to do anything," I whispered softly.

"I do Mione, I have to do it. Tonight. Tonight, Dumbledore has to die," he replied. His expression suddenly turned hard again and he stood up. He started towards the door before I spoke up. He stopped.

"How are they getting in?" I spoke strongly before turning to face him. He just cocked his head slightly to the left, but his gaze did not meet mine.

"Vanishing cabinet," he spoke, barely audible. "One in Borgin & Burkes, other in here," he continued, slightly louder.

"Here?" I squeaked. I looked around the vast, empty room looking for said vanishing cabinet, but found nothing. Whilst looking around I didn't notice Draco hastily moving across the room towards me. I was yanked out of my daydream when he grabbed onto my arm and dragged me onto my feet and pulled me towards the door.

"OW! Draco! Stop it! You're HURTING ME!" I cried. He quickly loosened his grip on me and swung me around. My back collided painfully with the enormous door. I let out a tiny sob. He came even closer to me and I swear my heart stopped beating for a second or two. His toned stomach pressed against mine and his eyes bore into me. Yeah, in theory, I should be dead right about now.

"You have to go," he whispered. "Go back to your common room and stay there. Don't tell anyone about what is happening, don't tell anyone about coming to meet me here. Stay silent," he continued.

"Dra-,"

"Shh," he pressed his finger to my lips. My glassy eyes looked up, pleading for him not to go. In one swift movement he moved his finger and replaced it with his lips. Fireworks erupted in my mind as I responded and returned the kiss. My hands found their way up to his hair and dug in. His arms wrapped protectively around my waist and pulled me closer, deepening the kiss. I never wanted it to end but we needed to breathe. I broke off first, my lungs gasping for oxygen.

"Wow," I gasped, giggling and slightly blushing.

"You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that," Draco giggled aswell.

"Ditto,"

He brushed a bit of fly-away hair from my eyes and sighed.

"You have to go now," he reminded me.

"Be safe," I told him. I gave him a light kiss on the cheek and a warm hug before leaving. I started to run up towards the common room. The corridors were completely deserted, apart from a few rogue ghosts who paid no attention to me. I reached the portrait, gave the password and was allowed entrance. I wiped some stray tears from my eyes on my sleeve and composed myself. I started for my dormitory when something caught the corner of my eye by the fireplace. A silhouette. I turned properly to be met by roaring red hair and a dangerous expression. Ginny.

"Where the HELL have you been?" she begun, her voice shaking in anger.

"None of your business," I replied simply, not batting an eyelid.

"Excuse me? None of my business? None of MY BUSINESS? Of course its my bloody business! I've been worried sick, SICK! As has Ron and Harry! We've been up and down this castle all bloody night looking for you!" she screamed at me. I was surprised she didn't wake up the whole castle. I just looked at her simply again.

"Well you looked hard didn't you? And you say you've been looking all night? I left at 10, and its now, hm, 11? I've only been away for an hour. So calm it down a notch, aye? I'm going to bed, night," I said bluntly and made my way for the stairs. I was stopped abruptly by Ginny again.

"Where have you been Hermione?" she begged.

"I told you, its none of your business,"

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><p><em>yay! another chapter!<br>hope you're enjoying the story so far. Again, as usual, **reviews **are so greatly appreciated. They let me know how you're enjoying the story, how you're not, where I should take it, etc etc.  
>so yes, that's all just now!<br>happy reading :)  
><em>**~brokenteapots **


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